


Unimaginable

by SolluxanderCaptr



Category: Hibike! Euphonium
Genre: F/F, soft gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 13:34:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5745757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolluxanderCaptr/pseuds/SolluxanderCaptr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsuki reminisces on the old days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unimaginable

How did she get here? Natsuki shifted up from the covers, but was careful not to disturb the person next to her. She looked down. The sunlight hit her hair and face so gently. She almost seemed to glow.

A dull pang was felt in her chest. God, she loved this girl.

This girl.

Oumae Kumiko.

Seriously, how did she get here? In this bed, in this apartment, with this girl? It wasnt as if they were close... Well, they were now (emotionally and phsyically), but during high school, Kumiko had been with Kousaka. And they were a good couple. Er, sort of. She sighed. They were always on and off, never knowing when to cross or stop. And while they supported each other, pillars leaning against each other, they crumbled. After seeing them together and from the images Kumiko relayed to her, it was terrifying. 'It' being their break up. It was like watching a mountain erupt, and in the process, the mountain was eradicated too.

Kumiko constantly came to her. Not that she didn't talk to Kawashima and Katou (the double Ka's as Asuka-san called them), but she guess because they weren't all that close and in different years, she wouldn't have to be confronted as much. And Natsuki had known this, and she held her while she wept and pretended none of it happened the next day.

What high school her would say if she saw them together now... God. She would've denied it, denied it so hard. But what could you do when your crush progressed at the pace of a tortoise? Back then, Natsuki had only felt the need to comfort Kumiko, and she found herself worrying more and more often about the brunette. But it was nothing, that's what she had told herself. And it was for a while.

Those countless days of venting and crying and that one time where Kumiko had almost thrown her euphonium to the floor planted a seed in Natsuki's heart.

'Here,' Life seemed to say to her. 'This seed is a flower that blooms every four years. And when it does bloom, its the most beautiful thing you'll ever see. So beautiful, you'll come to the verge of tears with every look at it's petals and every intake of it's scent.'

And Natsuki had said, 'Yeah, right.' But here she was, seed planted and now blooming full force. It made her dizzy to think about it.

In high school, talking about Kumiko and Reina's break up was like putting a lighter to methane. No one in the band mentioned it. Anything the double Ka's would do would set her off, because in those recent months Kousaka had been hanging out with them more. It seemed like everything except Natsuki reminded her of Kousaka.

Natsuki watched from afar as they wedged a wall between themselves. Their performance dropped, and at one point Taki-sensei had asked her to step in for Kumiko because of it. She had cried. No, not Kumiko. Natsuki, herself, had cried.

It'd been a surprise. It was SunFes, and the other euphonium player just couldn't get it together. Kumiko had hidden behind a wall, she knew. And she also knew how much playing had come to mean for Kumiko. The thought came to her at mach 5 speed.

'Kumiko won't be happy.'

Though, through the crying, she accepted. She pretended that those were tears of joy, yes, and she'd finally be able to play. That day, Kumiko had come over and Natsuki cried again. And they both cried. And the seed broke and the plant inside it took root.

It was unimaginable, the thought of Natsuki and Kumiko. Kumiko, who had just gotten out of a break-up and Natsuki, who didn't think she could keep up with someone as hard-working and dedicated as her now-girlfriend. They both knew it, so they didn't say anything. And then came graduation.

Natsuki wasn't one for quick thinking for most times, but Kumiko helped clear her senses. A week before graduation, she had finally realized that she'd be leaving Kumiko.

_Leaving._

And she called Kumiko and cried and cried. This was nothing new now, and Kousaka and her were on much better terms then, but it felt as if she was a ghost travelling back and inhabiting Kumiko the first time she had cried to the older girl. She felt so... so exposed. But this time, no one pretened nothing happened and, for the first time, Kumiko invited her to have lunch with her and the Ka's.

The actual day of graduation was numb and a blur. A hug here, a handshake there and tears everywhere. Natsuki had long since drained herself of them. She felt a bit empty, more than usual, and cold. It was a warm day that day and everyone was warm too except her.

She had thought, 'Why do we have this big day? Why do you need to rub it in my face? I get it already, _stop it_.'

At this point the flower was budding. It felt like something was trying to burst out of her heart and up her throat, like she'd vomit cherry blossoms and orchids. It was painful. It hurt. But it was a feeling, and she held onto that.

Kumiko caught up with her in the hallways. Natsuki had been wandering around, like a spirit. She hear footsteps and turned there she was. Auburn hair bouncing around her face, an angelic halo of floof. It had occured to her that she had a crush on Kumiko. Natsuki gritted her teeth and pushed it down.

"The Hallway Conversation", as they dubbed it, was quiet and full of small words with giant meanings.

_"You're leaving."_

_"Y- Yeah."_

_Silence._

_"Why're you still here?"_

_"I don't know myself."_

_More silence. Then, the quick shifting of her body, the rustling of clothing and Natsuki was suddenly aware she was being held. Hugged. Tightly but gently. Natsuki felt her face and chest warm._

_"Thank you, senpai."_

_"Now, now. There's no need to call me that. I'm not techincally a student anymore."_

_"But still! You're older than me!"_

_Kumiko let go. Natsuki looked at her. They stared._

_"Kumiko..."_

_"Hm?"_

_"I l-"_

_"Well, good-bye then!"_

_"Kumiko, wait-"_

_"Please keep in touch!"_

_Kumiko ran._

All these years later, she never told Kumiko what she wanted to really say. But she knew, she felt it. It's what made her run away in the first place. Because to say that would be unimaginable. Yes, that's what they were at first. A concept lost to time. A thought impossible to think of. Unimaginable.

Then came the break year. College was an enemy not yet to be faced. So, Natsuki worked at a convenience store. Aside from seeing Kumiko at the store, she had not kept in touch. They saw each other, and they pressed their lips in a firm line and turned their heads. They couldn't talk about it.

(Like putting a lighter to methane.)

After the break year, Natsuki finally saved up enough to make sure she wouldn't need to work right away. Her family was fine in terms of paying tuition and room and board, and of course books, but Natsuki wanted a nice stash of spending money.

It was a miracle they hadn't seen each other on the first day. It seemed impossible for them to miss each other for three months, having almost all the same classes. The situation was... unimaginable.

They met in a convienience store. Natsuki is putting instant ramen in her cart instead of the shelves. She remembers it this way because she looks up and sees Kumiko's beautiful, beautiful face and she (Kumiko) makes a joke about it.

They talk and shop and when they get out it's nearly sunset. Kumiko and Natsuki are on different floors, but since Natsuki's is closer and Kumiko didn't pick up anything to put in the fridge, she stays with Natsuki for the night. Nothing happens. In fact they talk more for only ten minutes before Kumiko falls asleep on her.

That morning they wake up seperately and at different times and Kumiko wakes up and leaves before Natsuki can but not with out leaving her number on the table.

The next few weeks, Kumiko visits Natsuki's room often and they study together because they're in the same year. Somewhere along the line the unimaginable becomes imaginable as Kumiko kisses her. The words 'will you be my girlfriend' escape Natsuki's lips and that's what they are now.

Nothing happens that night beyond blushing and chaste kisses (as it turns out they're both asexual) and Kumiko spends the night again. They've become something understandable. Something possible.

Now, looking back on it, Natsuki shouldn't be looking at Kumiko and suddenly realizing they're dating all the time, should she? It's been three months after all. But that's what comes with going from 'unimaginable' to 'hand holding and kisses', she guesses. Natsuki liked to think of it as emotional/mental whiplash.

Kumiko shifted. The older girl smiled and gently shook her shoulder.

"Kumiko, wake up. It's time for class."


End file.
